It has been interesting these last months or even years to watch Barack Obama...I remember when he spoke at the Democratic convention in 2004 and it sounded so hopeful and visionary. Then the most unlikely thing happend four years later the guy actually has a decent shot at the presidency. One thing that is interesting is a social phenomena that when someone or something becomes popular many people that supported or liked it in the beginning now have lost all interest. So things that made Obama someone they would support are now the exact things that could lead them away from him. But this can obviously not be true. If Obama was inspiring then and had hopeful policies, then they dont become less hopeful just because he has gained popularity, unless he himself has undergone a fundamental change, which I do not believe to have happened.
However, this note is not supposed to be about my view upon the current election...I am sure ill at some point will want to say something about it, but for - now I not in the mood....even without CNN i think I have seen Obama's face so much to been able to establishe that he must have somewhere between 152.100 and 152.200 hairs on his head. And thanks to Rebba and Tannor I also have seen enough McCain footage.
But yeah the question that I had is ...if Obama is really such a positive influence...why is their such a sense of apathy....yes there are enough that have followed Obama like a rockstar....but there are so many that believe that whether it is McCain or Obama...there is not much difference to be detected in their lives.
Why is it that we expect little from out leaders? It reminds me of a story in the book "The Future of Freedom" about the Titanic:
"Of the many differences between the blockbuster movie Titanic and history, one in particular is telling. In the movie, as the ship is sinking, the first-class passengers scramble to climb into the small number of lifeboats. Only the determination of the hardy seamen, who use guns to keep the grasping plutocrats at bay, gets the women and children into the boats.
In fact, according to survivors' accounts, the "women and children first" convention was observed with almost no exception among the upper classes. The statistics make this plain. In first class, every child was saved, as were all but 5 (of 144) women, 3 of whom chose to die with their husbands. By contrast, 70 percent of the men in first class perished. In second class, which was also inhabited by rich professional types, 80 percent of the women were saved but 90 percent of the men drowned.
The men on the first-class list of the Titanic virtually made up the Forbes 400 of the time. John Jacob Astor, reputedly the richest man in America at the time, is said to have fought his way to a boat, put his wife in it, and then, refusing to take a seat, stepped back and waved her goodbye. Benjamin Guggenheim similarly declined a seat, yielding his place to a woman, asking only that she convey a message home: "Tell my wife... I played the game out straight and to the end. No woman shall be left aboard this ship because Ben Guggenheim was a coward." In other words, some of the most powerful men in the world adhered to an unwritten code of honor - even though it meant certain death.
The movie-makers altered the story for good reason:NO ONE WOULD BELIEVE IT TODAY. We have freed our upper classes of any sense of responsibility and they have happily reciprocated. In modern discourse they are just like any of us regular folk. We behave as if society is so democratic and dynamic that it doesn't actually have a governing elite. But IT DOES .
In the past when Leaders of society lived up to their ideals they were honored. When they did not it was a matter of deep disapointment. Today by contrast, we expect very little of those in postions of power, and they RARELY DISAPPOINT US.
Take a look across the globe (and for simplicity sake ill stick to political leaders).
- Start here in America: Without going into the details President Bush has the lowest approval rating of any president during my lifetime.
- In Europe. Gordon Brown is finding out that being a true leader is harder than it looks when you are on the outside looking in. Which is a lesson David Cameron might take note off. While at least not blaming the US for everything Sarkozy is not a leader that i would feel comfortable putting my trust in. In my own country of Holland the lack of true leaders that stand for something have led to some nutcracker politicians winning a lot of support.
- Putin or Putin Jr in Russia are not the leaders I would trust to sincerely care for the good of the whole world.
- Mbeki is a sham of the leader Mandela was, Hu Jintao and other Chinese leaders are hard to get a hold off, but I am clear that their policies do not seem to care about the well being of peoples of all worldviews, or for the benefit of peoples that cant speak for themselves both inside and outside their nation.
-Middle East....has its dictators (unfortunately almost always US-backed)...it has the wonderful Israelis where since Rabin there does not seem to be a single one that at least to some extent can see that Palestinians might have some title to the piece of land on the Eastern part of the Mediterranean Sea.....and Palestinian leaders that lack legitimacy and join many counter parts in being seen as corrupt.....Then we have the wonderful Ahmadinejad....who is so full of hate ...
Latin America....well let me stop after Chavez....I know that some people who don't like Uncle George opt for the kind of leaders like Chavez....but is this really the kind of leaders you want to follow...really?
The list is much longer...but inspiring....nah....trustworthy.....not after they tell lies after lies...hopeful...ehmm didnt think so...
Is it then surpising that so many people have decided no longer to place their hope and trust in leaders....or for that matter that Obama's of no longer the same politics seems so refreshing to at least part of the populus who though beaten down hasnt given up hope yet...
But yeah to all of us that so want to be in leadership position and lead, whatever the capacity may be...remember it might mean staying on a sinking ship...following in the footsteps of great leaders that went before us. Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, JFK, Oscar Romero who all like Moses did not see the promised land. Or like Mandela and Aung San Suu Kyi to have your liberty taking away knowing that their blessed positions of power also gave them the SOLEMN DUTY to do what is just and right.
adittional comments:
I am with some of you who do not desire to be in leadership positions....Quite frankly I am not sure how could a leader I would be. I think the only leader that I might be is a serving leader.....However my desire not to be a leader doesnt mean that I am not supposed to be supporting or even leading fellow human being ...Like Recker said...the setting of an example...I believe we are always setting examples....and in that way ...no it is not a official position of leadersship..but peoples eyes are there...and it has often surprised me to waht a great extent people take other peoples examples to heart...examples that the people themselves might not have even given a thought...
My point here wasnt either use the examples of our leaders as an excuse....because no matter how pathetic our leaders are...that doesnt free us from giving right examples ourselves..
I agree with Akaose to a certain extent that many farmers forgot their past once they became kings...I think it is very important to set boundaries...especially in pursuit of some higher positions....say i desire to become a lawyer....well if that pursuit is on top of my list before anything else then what might happen is that in order to achieve my goal i end up using people to get there....if i instead start off with the notion that I will treat all people with human dignity then in me trying to become a lawyer I will stick within those boundaries...as leaders we need boundaries..or morals or whatever you will call them...I think the serving one...although pretty general is one that should be on top of the list....... Magpatuloy sa Pagbasa
In fact some of the strongest examples of leadership have been given by people that did not desire to be leaders...but decided to serve their fellow human beings...
I dont think we should desire our leaders to be perfect...Lord knows how dark my own heart is....how could i expect my leaders then to be perfect, however, is it too much to ask them to be honest? to ask them to indeed work for those things that they promised in their campaign trail?
I guess as people it is of immense importance to also give support to out leaders...to actually want to see them to do well...instead of waiting for the next mistake so we can cut the roots from underneath them....thats why I have such a hard time with all this negative politics stuff...because what does it tell me nothing...it only tells me that so and so is not fit..it doesnt tell me anything about the candidate himself....If B says that A is not fit....wonderful...but does A not being fit (in the opinion of B) make B fit him/herself?... Magpatuloy sa Pagbasa
Our support should be there for our leaders...if we disagree we are obligated to challenge them...however, if we truly want change we should not only push for better leadership, but also for better followership. Like I have said many times before. I am not the biggest Bush fan, however, coming from Europe and even within the US it saddens me to see that some peoples goal in life seems to be to see Bush make another mistake.
True we can seriously question Bush's leadership, but at the same time we can seriously question our own followership.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Prodigal 21st Century Style (Written August 10, 2008 )
I have read this story now many times....it pops back up in my mind quite often....though the story of the Prodigal Son is one of my Favourite stories in the Bible...sometimes I can not grasp the full meaning of the story...I think that not living in a Middle- Eastern 1st century context will do that. It is hard to relate to the fact how the Father dishonours himself out of love for the sun or how the son deserved the deathpenalty for his dishonoring....This story follows the same pattern..but in a 21st century context where many of the things seems so darn real to me...obviously not being a girl i experience them from a slightly different perspective...but the feeling of non-acceptance, the looking for something new, the feeling of insufficiency, the hard ache man I can relate to them.
"A young girl grows up on a cherry orchard just above Traverse City, Michigan. Her parents, a bit old-fashioned, tend to overreact to her nose ring, the music she listens to, and the length of her skirts. They ground her a few times, and she seethes inside. "I hate you!" she screams at her father when he knocks on the door of her room after an argument, and that night she acts on a plan she has mentally rehearsed scores of times. She runs away.
She has visited Detroit only once before, on a bus trip with her church youth group to watch the Tigers play. Because newspapers in Traverse City report in lurid detail the gangs, drugs, and violence in downtown Detroit, she concludes that is probably the last place her parents will look for her. California, maybe, or Florida, but not Detroit.
Her second day there she meets a man who drives the biggest car she's ever seen. He offers her a ride, buys her lunch, arranges a place for her to stay. He gives her some pills that make her feel better than she's ever felt before. She was right all along, she decides: Her parents were keeping her from all the fun.
The good life continues for a month, two months, a year. The man with the big car—she calls him "Boss"--teaches her a few things that men like. Since she's underage, men pay a premium for her. She lives in a penthouse and orders room service whenever she wants. Occasionally she thinks about the folks back home, but their lives now seem so boring that she can hardly believe she grew up there. She has a brief scare when she sees her picture printed on the back of a milk carton with the headline, "Have you seen this child?" But by now she has blond hair, and with all the makeup and body-piercing jewelry she wears, nobody would mistake her for a child. Besides, most of her friends are runaways, and nobody squeals in Detroit.
After a year, the first sallow signs of illness appear, and it amazes her how fast the boss turns mean. "These days, we can't mess around," he growls, and before she knows it she's out on the street without a penny to her name. She still turns a couple of tricks a night, but they don't pay much, and all the money goes to support her drug habit. When winter blows in she finds herself sleeping on metal grates outside the big department stores. "Sleeping" is the wrong word—a teenage girl at night in downtown Detroit can never relax her guard. Dark bands circle her eyes. Her cough worsens.
One night, as she lies awake listening for footsteps, all of a sudden everything about her life looks different. She no longer feels like a woman of the world. She feels like a little girl, lost in a cold and frightening city. She begins to whimper. Her pockets are empty and she's hungry. She needs a fix. She pulls her legs tight underneath her and shivers under the newspapers she's piled atop her coat. Something jolts a synapse of memory and a single image fills her mind: of May in Traverse City, when a million cherry trees bloom at once, with her golden retriever dashing through the rows and rows of blossomy trees in chase of a tennis ball.
God, why did I leave? she says to herself, and pain stabs at her heart. My dog back home eats better than I do now. She's sobbing, and she knows in a flash that more than anything else in the world she wants to go home.
Three straight phone calls, three straight connections with the answering machine. She hangs up without leaving a message the first two times, but the third time she says, "Dad, Mom, it's me. I was wondering about maybe coming home. I'm catching a bus up your way, and it'll get there about midnight tomorrow. If you're not there, well, I guess I'll just stay on the bus until it hits Canada."
It takes about seven hours for a bus to make all the stops between Detroit and Traverse City, and during that time she realizes the flaws in her plan. What if her parents are out of town and miss the message? Shouldn't she have waited another day or so until she could talk to them? Even if they are home, they probably wrote her off as dead long ago. She should have given them some time to overcome the shock.
Her thoughts bounce back and forth between those worries and the speech she is preparing for her father. "Dad, I'm sorry. I know I was wrong. It's not your fault, it's all mine. Dad, can you forgive me?" She says the words over and over, her throat tightening even as she rehearses them. She hasn't apologized to anyone in years.
The bus has been driving with lights on since Bay City. Tiny snowflakes hit the road, and the asphalt steams. She's forgotten how dark it gets at night out here. A deer darts across the road and the bus swerves. Every so often, a billboard. A sign posting the mileage to Traverse City. Oh, God.
When the bus finally rolls into the station, its air brakes hissing in protest, the driver announces in a crackly voice over the microphone, "Fifteen minutes, folks. That's all we have here." Fifteen minutes to decide her life. She checks herself in a compact mirror, smooths her hair, and licks the lipstick off her teeth. She looks at the tobacco stains on her fingertips and wonders if her parents will notice. If they're there.
She walks into the terminal not knowing what to expect, and not one of the thousand scenes that have played out in her mind prepare her for what she sees. There, in the concrete-walls-and-plastic-chairs bus terminal in Traverse City, Michigan, stands a group of 40 family members—brothers and sisters and great-aunts and uncles and cousins and a grandmother and great-grandmother to boot. They are all wearing ridiculous-looking party hats and blowing noisemakers, and taped across the entire wall of the terminal is a computer-generated banner that reads "Welcome home!"
Out of the crowd of well-wishers breaks her dad. She looks through tears and begins the memorized speech, "Dad, I'm sorry. I know … "
He interrupts her. "Hush, child. We've got no time for that. No time for apologies. You'll be late for the party. A banquet's waiting for you at home."
And so it is with God's amazing grace. But what's so amazing about it, anyway?
It's the main thing that sets our faith apart from every other religion on the planet. Other faiths require you to do something to "get right with God." Mess up much, and you're toast.
Christianity is the only religion that offers "rightness with God" free of charge, with no strings attached: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works … " (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Heaven for free? That goes against our human nature, because we usually think we have to earn stuff. But that's not God's way. We can't earn our ticket to heaven. It's a gift.
We are accustomed to finding a catch in every promise, but in Jesus' stories of extravagant grace there is no catch, no loophole disqualifying us from God's love. Each has at its core an ending too good to be true—or, so good that it must be true.
Jesus did not give the parables to teach us how to live. He gave them, I believe, to correct our notions about who God is and who God loves.
Ask people what they must do to get to heaven and most reply, "Be good." Jesus' stories contradict that answer. All we must do is cry, "Help!" God welcomes home anyone who will have him and, in fact, has made the first move already.
That's what's so amazing about grace."
Though my faith is based upon Truth and the Truth of the gospel....if True then this is why I love God so much....He recognised my crazy mess, the darkness of my heart....and took all measure to take my deadness and make it alive...
"A young girl grows up on a cherry orchard just above Traverse City, Michigan. Her parents, a bit old-fashioned, tend to overreact to her nose ring, the music she listens to, and the length of her skirts. They ground her a few times, and she seethes inside. "I hate you!" she screams at her father when he knocks on the door of her room after an argument, and that night she acts on a plan she has mentally rehearsed scores of times. She runs away.
She has visited Detroit only once before, on a bus trip with her church youth group to watch the Tigers play. Because newspapers in Traverse City report in lurid detail the gangs, drugs, and violence in downtown Detroit, she concludes that is probably the last place her parents will look for her. California, maybe, or Florida, but not Detroit.
Her second day there she meets a man who drives the biggest car she's ever seen. He offers her a ride, buys her lunch, arranges a place for her to stay. He gives her some pills that make her feel better than she's ever felt before. She was right all along, she decides: Her parents were keeping her from all the fun.
The good life continues for a month, two months, a year. The man with the big car—she calls him "Boss"--teaches her a few things that men like. Since she's underage, men pay a premium for her. She lives in a penthouse and orders room service whenever she wants. Occasionally she thinks about the folks back home, but their lives now seem so boring that she can hardly believe she grew up there. She has a brief scare when she sees her picture printed on the back of a milk carton with the headline, "Have you seen this child?" But by now she has blond hair, and with all the makeup and body-piercing jewelry she wears, nobody would mistake her for a child. Besides, most of her friends are runaways, and nobody squeals in Detroit.
After a year, the first sallow signs of illness appear, and it amazes her how fast the boss turns mean. "These days, we can't mess around," he growls, and before she knows it she's out on the street without a penny to her name. She still turns a couple of tricks a night, but they don't pay much, and all the money goes to support her drug habit. When winter blows in she finds herself sleeping on metal grates outside the big department stores. "Sleeping" is the wrong word—a teenage girl at night in downtown Detroit can never relax her guard. Dark bands circle her eyes. Her cough worsens.
One night, as she lies awake listening for footsteps, all of a sudden everything about her life looks different. She no longer feels like a woman of the world. She feels like a little girl, lost in a cold and frightening city. She begins to whimper. Her pockets are empty and she's hungry. She needs a fix. She pulls her legs tight underneath her and shivers under the newspapers she's piled atop her coat. Something jolts a synapse of memory and a single image fills her mind: of May in Traverse City, when a million cherry trees bloom at once, with her golden retriever dashing through the rows and rows of blossomy trees in chase of a tennis ball.
God, why did I leave? she says to herself, and pain stabs at her heart. My dog back home eats better than I do now. She's sobbing, and she knows in a flash that more than anything else in the world she wants to go home.
Three straight phone calls, three straight connections with the answering machine. She hangs up without leaving a message the first two times, but the third time she says, "Dad, Mom, it's me. I was wondering about maybe coming home. I'm catching a bus up your way, and it'll get there about midnight tomorrow. If you're not there, well, I guess I'll just stay on the bus until it hits Canada."
It takes about seven hours for a bus to make all the stops between Detroit and Traverse City, and during that time she realizes the flaws in her plan. What if her parents are out of town and miss the message? Shouldn't she have waited another day or so until she could talk to them? Even if they are home, they probably wrote her off as dead long ago. She should have given them some time to overcome the shock.
Her thoughts bounce back and forth between those worries and the speech she is preparing for her father. "Dad, I'm sorry. I know I was wrong. It's not your fault, it's all mine. Dad, can you forgive me?" She says the words over and over, her throat tightening even as she rehearses them. She hasn't apologized to anyone in years.
The bus has been driving with lights on since Bay City. Tiny snowflakes hit the road, and the asphalt steams. She's forgotten how dark it gets at night out here. A deer darts across the road and the bus swerves. Every so often, a billboard. A sign posting the mileage to Traverse City. Oh, God.
When the bus finally rolls into the station, its air brakes hissing in protest, the driver announces in a crackly voice over the microphone, "Fifteen minutes, folks. That's all we have here." Fifteen minutes to decide her life. She checks herself in a compact mirror, smooths her hair, and licks the lipstick off her teeth. She looks at the tobacco stains on her fingertips and wonders if her parents will notice. If they're there.
She walks into the terminal not knowing what to expect, and not one of the thousand scenes that have played out in her mind prepare her for what she sees. There, in the concrete-walls-and-plastic-chairs bus terminal in Traverse City, Michigan, stands a group of 40 family members—brothers and sisters and great-aunts and uncles and cousins and a grandmother and great-grandmother to boot. They are all wearing ridiculous-looking party hats and blowing noisemakers, and taped across the entire wall of the terminal is a computer-generated banner that reads "Welcome home!"
Out of the crowd of well-wishers breaks her dad. She looks through tears and begins the memorized speech, "Dad, I'm sorry. I know … "
He interrupts her. "Hush, child. We've got no time for that. No time for apologies. You'll be late for the party. A banquet's waiting for you at home."
And so it is with God's amazing grace. But what's so amazing about it, anyway?
It's the main thing that sets our faith apart from every other religion on the planet. Other faiths require you to do something to "get right with God." Mess up much, and you're toast.
Christianity is the only religion that offers "rightness with God" free of charge, with no strings attached: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works … " (Ephesians 2:8-9).
Heaven for free? That goes against our human nature, because we usually think we have to earn stuff. But that's not God's way. We can't earn our ticket to heaven. It's a gift.
We are accustomed to finding a catch in every promise, but in Jesus' stories of extravagant grace there is no catch, no loophole disqualifying us from God's love. Each has at its core an ending too good to be true—or, so good that it must be true.
Jesus did not give the parables to teach us how to live. He gave them, I believe, to correct our notions about who God is and who God loves.
Ask people what they must do to get to heaven and most reply, "Be good." Jesus' stories contradict that answer. All we must do is cry, "Help!" God welcomes home anyone who will have him and, in fact, has made the first move already.
That's what's so amazing about grace."
Though my faith is based upon Truth and the Truth of the gospel....if True then this is why I love God so much....He recognised my crazy mess, the darkness of my heart....and took all measure to take my deadness and make it alive...
Called to be what (Written May 5, 2007)
I dont know what has gotten into me and writing a note every month on this facebook....Maybe it is that during my sometimes up to 13-14 hour days of pruning Hibiscus ...tell people whether Geraniums are better flowers for full sun than the Impatience and Dahlias ...or the carrying around of Maple trees... I have time ..time to think...and my mind at present state...request answers...not soft soap and flowery comments...
Or maybe it is that i just sincerely miss the fact that I no longer have the great blessing of the daily company of so many of you...I no longer can go for advise at any convenience ...no longer can listen to your knowledge and willingness to share experiences at every single moment of the day and for some the nights as well...
Either way I am struggling with this question...and I am failing in coming to a clear answer....forgive my vocab...(but just because words are used a lot do not make them less true)...Most of us feel that we are destined to become someone...do to a certain thing...to have a calling...many off us struggle with the fact what exactly our calling is...are we supposed to study this or that...are we supposed to go here or there...others have a more clear picture...and feel truly at home with the choice we have come to...
And whether we call it Calling, Vocation, Personal Legend (Paulo Coelho)...believers and many non believers alike feel like a certain thing is meant for them...a certain occupation fits them...and so in the terms of the Christian heritage...we are called to be....
But that is where my struggle comes to the forefront...I am not disputing that God does not call us from the womb...I think that He does call us to be People who follow Christ...who Love Peace, Justice and their Neighbours...
I am even not disputing that some callings might be very specific...and seeing someone at work in something that they truly love is one of the most beautiful sights....especially in light of the so many that go to work to go home...
My Struggle is this....when i have a calling to be this and that and you do too...what then is the calling of the beggar on the street.....what is the calling of the orphan...what is the calling of the homeless...what is the calling of the HIV- infected child...
Does it mean that they can not be called to be doctors and lawyers...to be government officials and nurses...solely because are greed kept them out...I have a hard time believing that their calling should be any less than ours...that their calling should be limited to work in a Maquiladora every day of their life...
Yes they too are to be called to love their neighbours as well and that is possible in all circumstances...I just struggle a lot with the fact that just because I was fortunate enough...I can fulfill my calling....(ps. dont worry I am still searching beyond the obvious point of loving peace...working for justice...and treating all with the love that Christ treated me) but they were not given the opportunity...
Please if anyone can bring clarity into my mind...please let me know...
Or maybe it is that i just sincerely miss the fact that I no longer have the great blessing of the daily company of so many of you...I no longer can go for advise at any convenience ...no longer can listen to your knowledge and willingness to share experiences at every single moment of the day and for some the nights as well...
Either way I am struggling with this question...and I am failing in coming to a clear answer....forgive my vocab...(but just because words are used a lot do not make them less true)...Most of us feel that we are destined to become someone...do to a certain thing...to have a calling...many off us struggle with the fact what exactly our calling is...are we supposed to study this or that...are we supposed to go here or there...others have a more clear picture...and feel truly at home with the choice we have come to...
And whether we call it Calling, Vocation, Personal Legend (Paulo Coelho)...believers and many non believers alike feel like a certain thing is meant for them...a certain occupation fits them...and so in the terms of the Christian heritage...we are called to be....
But that is where my struggle comes to the forefront...I am not disputing that God does not call us from the womb...I think that He does call us to be People who follow Christ...who Love Peace, Justice and their Neighbours...
I am even not disputing that some callings might be very specific...and seeing someone at work in something that they truly love is one of the most beautiful sights....especially in light of the so many that go to work to go home...
My Struggle is this....when i have a calling to be this and that and you do too...what then is the calling of the beggar on the street.....what is the calling of the orphan...what is the calling of the homeless...what is the calling of the HIV- infected child...
Does it mean that they can not be called to be doctors and lawyers...to be government officials and nurses...solely because are greed kept them out...I have a hard time believing that their calling should be any less than ours...that their calling should be limited to work in a Maquiladora every day of their life...
Yes they too are to be called to love their neighbours as well and that is possible in all circumstances...I just struggle a lot with the fact that just because I was fortunate enough...I can fulfill my calling....(ps. dont worry I am still searching beyond the obvious point of loving peace...working for justice...and treating all with the love that Christ treated me) but they were not given the opportunity...
Please if anyone can bring clarity into my mind...please let me know...
Iraq (written April 14, 2007)
I know that many of you probably saw the title and had this feeling ...sigh...Iraq again ...can we just move on and talk about something else...But what does move on mean....what does it mean for the mother that lost all her three children...what does it mean for a population where unemployment is rampant....what does it mean for the American Soldier missing a limb or two and still waiting on benefits because (s)he was a reserve...More than anything what does it mean when things seem to get worse instead of better...
We want to move on...our attention span is short...there are other problems and it has been 4 years now since it started......some of us were lost before it even started....the next few followed after the first weeks of shell shocking...the next left when the "official war" was over...and Saddam caught...even the most faithful have a hard time to spend time in prayer, thought....thinking... or maybe even acting for the good of the Iraqi people....So what do we do complain (note the difference between protest and complain)....Bush this ...America that...and I am not saying that we should applaud them (ps. anyone that knows my knows i ache with the whole situation there and the destroying of lives)...but if that is all we got are we really doing anything...So too the ones that talk about the loss of innocent lives...I am with you and we should put pressure on our government letting them know that 1 death is one too many and that every human being has just as much value as any other whether your name be George W. or Ibrahim Abbas Khalaf ...but those who talk about the loss of innocent lives ...the question I have is where were you when Saddam and his sons were experimenting on Kurds and Shiites a like...
Do be frustrated...do be in pain...do push for justice...do push for peace...but let it be out of love...let it be because every day this senseless war goes on more wonderful children of God are being put to senseless deaths...let it be because you recognize the promise that Iraq has...and because you realize the promise that America has if it would just spend a few more dollars on programs to rebuild societies (including its own) than it does on destroying ones...for I have never ever seen a gun or tank built anything...no to build and repair...education and health care seem to me more viable tools...
It seems to me that the words of the Great Martin Luther King Jr seem as relevant today about Iraq as they were back then on Vietnam...there must be a revolution of values within the people of this nation (and many others a like)- and sorry if this quote is too long for some...but i guess if you came to this point you have showed a sense of caring in the fist place.
"A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. On the one hand, we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life's roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.
A true revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast of poverty and wealth. With righteous indignation, it will look across the seas and see individual capitalists of the West investing huge sums of money in Asia, Africa, and South America, only to take the profits out with no concern for the social betterment of the countries, and say, "This is not just." It will look at our alliance with the landed gentry of South America and say, "This is not just." The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just.
A true revolution of values will lay hand on the world order and say of war, "This way of settling differences is not just." This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation's homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged, cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice, and love. A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.
America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values. There is nothing except a tragic death wish to prevent us from reordering our priorities so that the pursuit of peace will take precedence over the pursuit of war."
I understand that daily newspapers dont really help...I understand they do not tell you anything about the deeper underlying things...You hear about sectarian violence but not about how Hussein was killed at Karbala in 680 AD and subsequent history both in Iraq and the broader Middle East....you hear about the hate for Americans...without any connections to why that hate might be there...just some vague...Western values mentioning....Where is the connecting of dots...I know there are hard questions and the answers are not as clearcut but if anything this should lead you to ask the questions do the research.....It should lead you to want to understand....it should never leave you indifferent...for indifference is the most unnatural state...and in a situation where lives and land is being destroyed hourly how can it not matter to you what happens...
Lastly, I know there are people who want to see the US fail...and it is very tempting...hah teach them a lesson...but think what US failure would mean...it would not mean as much to the US army...still the most powerful in the world...it would not mean that much to George W. has legacy has been tarnished already to such a point that now that he is more willing to discuss alternatives...he is left without allies...But to the Iraqi civilian...failure would be absolutely devastating....so Please for the sake of God...for the Sake of his Children...both Sunni and Shi'ite ...both Iraqi and American...Never ever stop caring/speaking out/ praying and acting ...no matter how long it lasts...
I salute you for reading till the end:)
We want to move on...our attention span is short...there are other problems and it has been 4 years now since it started......some of us were lost before it even started....the next few followed after the first weeks of shell shocking...the next left when the "official war" was over...and Saddam caught...even the most faithful have a hard time to spend time in prayer, thought....thinking... or maybe even acting for the good of the Iraqi people....So what do we do complain (note the difference between protest and complain)....Bush this ...America that...and I am not saying that we should applaud them (ps. anyone that knows my knows i ache with the whole situation there and the destroying of lives)...but if that is all we got are we really doing anything...So too the ones that talk about the loss of innocent lives...I am with you and we should put pressure on our government letting them know that 1 death is one too many and that every human being has just as much value as any other whether your name be George W. or Ibrahim Abbas Khalaf ...but those who talk about the loss of innocent lives ...the question I have is where were you when Saddam and his sons were experimenting on Kurds and Shiites a like...
Do be frustrated...do be in pain...do push for justice...do push for peace...but let it be out of love...let it be because every day this senseless war goes on more wonderful children of God are being put to senseless deaths...let it be because you recognize the promise that Iraq has...and because you realize the promise that America has if it would just spend a few more dollars on programs to rebuild societies (including its own) than it does on destroying ones...for I have never ever seen a gun or tank built anything...no to build and repair...education and health care seem to me more viable tools...
It seems to me that the words of the Great Martin Luther King Jr seem as relevant today about Iraq as they were back then on Vietnam...there must be a revolution of values within the people of this nation (and many others a like)- and sorry if this quote is too long for some...but i guess if you came to this point you have showed a sense of caring in the fist place.
"A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. On the one hand, we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life's roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.
A true revolution of values will soon look uneasily on the glaring contrast of poverty and wealth. With righteous indignation, it will look across the seas and see individual capitalists of the West investing huge sums of money in Asia, Africa, and South America, only to take the profits out with no concern for the social betterment of the countries, and say, "This is not just." It will look at our alliance with the landed gentry of South America and say, "This is not just." The Western arrogance of feeling that it has everything to teach others and nothing to learn from them is not just.
A true revolution of values will lay hand on the world order and say of war, "This way of settling differences is not just." This business of burning human beings with napalm, of filling our nation's homes with orphans and widows, of injecting poisonous drugs of hate into the veins of peoples normally humane, of sending men home from dark and bloody battlefields physically handicapped and psychologically deranged, cannot be reconciled with wisdom, justice, and love. A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.
America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values. There is nothing except a tragic death wish to prevent us from reordering our priorities so that the pursuit of peace will take precedence over the pursuit of war."
I understand that daily newspapers dont really help...I understand they do not tell you anything about the deeper underlying things...You hear about sectarian violence but not about how Hussein was killed at Karbala in 680 AD and subsequent history both in Iraq and the broader Middle East....you hear about the hate for Americans...without any connections to why that hate might be there...just some vague...Western values mentioning....Where is the connecting of dots...I know there are hard questions and the answers are not as clearcut but if anything this should lead you to ask the questions do the research.....It should lead you to want to understand....it should never leave you indifferent...for indifference is the most unnatural state...and in a situation where lives and land is being destroyed hourly how can it not matter to you what happens...
Lastly, I know there are people who want to see the US fail...and it is very tempting...hah teach them a lesson...but think what US failure would mean...it would not mean as much to the US army...still the most powerful in the world...it would not mean that much to George W. has legacy has been tarnished already to such a point that now that he is more willing to discuss alternatives...he is left without allies...But to the Iraqi civilian...failure would be absolutely devastating....so Please for the sake of God...for the Sake of his Children...both Sunni and Shi'ite ...both Iraqi and American...Never ever stop caring/speaking out/ praying and acting ...no matter how long it lasts...
I salute you for reading till the end:)
True Peace (writte December 3, 2006)
"What does peace mean in a world in which the combined wealth of the world's 587 billionaires exceeds the combined gross domestic product of the world's 135 poorest countries? Or when rich countries that pay farm subsidies of a billion dollars a day, try and force poor countries to drop their subsidies? What does peace mean to people in occupied Iraq, Palestine, Kashmir, Tibet and Chechnya? Or to the aboriginal people of Australia? Or the Ogoni of Nigeria? Or the Kurds in Turkey? Or the Dalits and Adivasis of India?What does peace mean to non-muslims in Islamic countries, or to women in Iran, Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan? What does it mean to the millions who are being uprooted from their lands by dams and development projects? What does peace mean to the poor who are being actively robbed of their resources and for whom everyday life is a grim battle for water, shelter, survival and, above all, some semblance of dignity? For them, peace is war."
-Arundhati Roy
I have had this quote on my wall for a while now, but when you think about it, is peace truly just the absence of war?...I aint talking about an Iraq kind of war where people's subsistence is directly attacked...I am talking about the indirect attacks on people inherent rights, safety, essential existence. I would argue that the suppression of people's inherent rights in indirect ways might in some ways be even worse than that off direct warfare in the sense that direct warfare is recognized around the world as a sin (even though they dont dare use the word)...Indirect warfare is often...relativized (never said may English was good) and made to look like it is someone else who is portraying the crime....but we all are part of the greatest sin of our time....the tremendous amount of wealth among such widespread poverty and injustice......I believe with Wolterstorff that "If we know of someone who is starving and have the power to help that person but choose not to do so, then we violates the starving person’s rights as surely and reprehensibly as if we had physically assaulted the sufferer."
We aint gotta save the whole world ....CHRIST already did that.....however we do have our part to play in making true peace reign on earth......
-Arundhati Roy
I have had this quote on my wall for a while now, but when you think about it, is peace truly just the absence of war?...I aint talking about an Iraq kind of war where people's subsistence is directly attacked...I am talking about the indirect attacks on people inherent rights, safety, essential existence. I would argue that the suppression of people's inherent rights in indirect ways might in some ways be even worse than that off direct warfare in the sense that direct warfare is recognized around the world as a sin (even though they dont dare use the word)...Indirect warfare is often...relativized (never said may English was good) and made to look like it is someone else who is portraying the crime....but we all are part of the greatest sin of our time....the tremendous amount of wealth among such widespread poverty and injustice......I believe with Wolterstorff that "If we know of someone who is starving and have the power to help that person but choose not to do so, then we violates the starving person’s rights as surely and reprehensibly as if we had physically assaulted the sufferer."
We aint gotta save the whole world ....CHRIST already did that.....however we do have our part to play in making true peace reign on earth......
Celebrate
We celebrate those who succeed ...those who have overcome hardship...those that where faced with poverty....and became rich...those who had hard childhoods and became great responsible citizens....we love the American dream...the ability to overcome all that is put in front of us to become all that you can be...
but let me tell you the American dream is a lie....it only tells us of the few that succeeded...it puts in front of us the picture of a Barack Obama...and tells us this can be you....it makes us believe that we can all be dancing together with Rocky on the stairs of the Philadelphia museum of Art...not seeing the multitudes that are all spread across the lower steps...THEY TRIED TOO...sometimes just as hard..
Surely when we work hard...when we strive for something with all we got we have a greater possibility of achieving what we set our sight on...of becoming that person...But the equation that as long as the person has relative liberty and the willingness to work hard...this will lead to accomplishment of once dreams no matter the circumstance is not true...there are issues of social mobility...issues of discrimination...familial issues...personal issues.....
Let me personalize it...for me if i would not have had family and certain friends stand by me over the last 10 years...only God knows where i would have been....my physical pain would have been an impediment to almost everything i would have tried no matter how hard i would have worked...and all my hard work would not have helped me pay for my further education....and since the almighty didnt bless me with Einstein brilliance a free ride would not have happened either....this is not to say that i should not take advantage of these blessings that have come my way....but i do think the should be placed with in proper perspective..
there are the extraordinary stories of people that rise from little to accomplish so much....but even they often acknowledge how depended they had been on so many things....
we should celebrate them...but i am proposing that maybe we should also celebrate the ones that did not make it...to this glorified status...single mothers who due to a lack of finance and because of parental responsibilities wasted all their talent in order to provide for their children....or people that just stay in the back pages of our papers....if they make it there at all
But even more than that i am suggesting that we might do good to celebrate the people who find themselves in mental institutions because stress and societal pressures had become too much...I am suggesting we celebrate people that committed crime (Notice distinction between the person and the crime) because they did not see another way out...and maybe let me suggest to even celebrate those who committed suicide...those who cheated life...who could not handle it anymore..
I guess this might be hard for some...these people have less in common with us...Everyday i hear this phrase 'I earned this, I earned that'..but beyond the fallacy of that argument..let me suggest to you that you might not be that much different from those...we regard as Failures...
It always surprised me whenever i spend time with homeless people how many genius' were among them...literally some had done so much in their lifetime...that i could live to a 150 and not come close to accomplishing what they did....but then life closed in on them and squeezed them into a corner things went awry....there are also many for whom this happened a lot earlier in life...and hence were left with very little...to stand on.
But these are people that are not easy to celebrate...we often rather consciously or unconsciously stand with the ones that succeed.
Buf if that is true, then i truly wish that we all may fall while climbing the stairs so that we too may know how it is to be among the fallen and hence may be able to celebrate them as well.
but let me tell you the American dream is a lie....it only tells us of the few that succeeded...it puts in front of us the picture of a Barack Obama...and tells us this can be you....it makes us believe that we can all be dancing together with Rocky on the stairs of the Philadelphia museum of Art...not seeing the multitudes that are all spread across the lower steps...THEY TRIED TOO...sometimes just as hard..
Surely when we work hard...when we strive for something with all we got we have a greater possibility of achieving what we set our sight on...of becoming that person...But the equation that as long as the person has relative liberty and the willingness to work hard...this will lead to accomplishment of once dreams no matter the circumstance is not true...there are issues of social mobility...issues of discrimination...familial issues...personal issues.....
Let me personalize it...for me if i would not have had family and certain friends stand by me over the last 10 years...only God knows where i would have been....my physical pain would have been an impediment to almost everything i would have tried no matter how hard i would have worked...and all my hard work would not have helped me pay for my further education....and since the almighty didnt bless me with Einstein brilliance a free ride would not have happened either....this is not to say that i should not take advantage of these blessings that have come my way....but i do think the should be placed with in proper perspective..
there are the extraordinary stories of people that rise from little to accomplish so much....but even they often acknowledge how depended they had been on so many things....
we should celebrate them...but i am proposing that maybe we should also celebrate the ones that did not make it...to this glorified status...single mothers who due to a lack of finance and because of parental responsibilities wasted all their talent in order to provide for their children....or people that just stay in the back pages of our papers....if they make it there at all
But even more than that i am suggesting that we might do good to celebrate the people who find themselves in mental institutions because stress and societal pressures had become too much...I am suggesting we celebrate people that committed crime (Notice distinction between the person and the crime) because they did not see another way out...and maybe let me suggest to even celebrate those who committed suicide...those who cheated life...who could not handle it anymore..
I guess this might be hard for some...these people have less in common with us...Everyday i hear this phrase 'I earned this, I earned that'..but beyond the fallacy of that argument..let me suggest to you that you might not be that much different from those...we regard as Failures...
It always surprised me whenever i spend time with homeless people how many genius' were among them...literally some had done so much in their lifetime...that i could live to a 150 and not come close to accomplishing what they did....but then life closed in on them and squeezed them into a corner things went awry....there are also many for whom this happened a lot earlier in life...and hence were left with very little...to stand on.
But these are people that are not easy to celebrate...we often rather consciously or unconsciously stand with the ones that succeed.
Buf if that is true, then i truly wish that we all may fall while climbing the stairs so that we too may know how it is to be among the fallen and hence may be able to celebrate them as well.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Just a little follow up
Because of the e-mails I have received in reply to my reflection, the issue of loneliness has not yet left my mind. I might have to clarify, although I thought I was pretty clear, that I don't struggle with the issue as much right now. I am not saying that it won't pop-up again in the future since past demons always have a way of haunting you down. But as off now, outside of the health struggle i mentioned I do not really struggle with it very much.
Now this does not mean I don't miss people. I do miss people, however, I am very thankful for the place I find myself right now and very thankful for the people that I have around me here. I am in Metro Manila so I darn better live in Metro Manila and not in Canada, Holland, India, UK, US or any other place. Sure my mind strays back to each one of those places regularly and fond memories come up frequently. But, if I spend all my time thinking, remembering times that were, I believe I am taking very scare opportunity of that which I have been given now. I believe it is possible to miss certain things and at the same time be very thankful for where I am and what I have right now.
Besides the obvious close friends and family, and at this very moment a strong craving for my mum's home-baked pizza, there are two other things i miss that come to my mind.
One thing that I miss and one of the reasons why I am thankful that I am here longer then a few months is that I miss the ability to have conversations with close friends and family that I know for longer than 4 months. As someone who has moved around a lot off late this is one of the hardest parts. Not the making of new friends or adjusting to different cultural changes, but the fact that when you have conversations even with people that are close to you, there is very little shared background. There is a need to explain many things. I don't have to tell my brothers how my teenage years were. I don't have to give an explanation to my college roomies when I am grumpy when I am not feeling well. I guess the solution is to work on that shared memory bank right now so that in the future more will be known.
The second thing, and this one only became apparent to me after reading something by the great Henri Nouwen, is the lack of touch. Being here, I know that I have to be pretty careful in who and how I touch other persons. Therefore, in many ways you avoid anyting that might be taken the wrong way. This has made me come to realize that I am a very 'touchy' person. The leaning on guys when we are fooling around, the comforting someone after bad news, the strong hug you give a dear friend. There are studies out there that show that baby's when they are put in a crib automatically role to the side out of need for touch - I would not be surprised if there is some truth to that. Nouwen says that we all long to touch and be touched, but after we move out of childhood we loose the foolishness to admit it.
But, I want to get back and finish with the reason why i wrote this piece. The reason why I think that I to a large extent experience a lot less of loneliness now then I used to. I think the change came not when I decided that I didn't care anymore what others thought of me. But at the moment it became clear to me that living a life of pretension: of being a better, a more perfect person than I am, was too high a price (included in here among many other things is loneliness) to pay for whatever negativity might otherwise come my way.
For I do care what other people think of me and my actions and believe that we should do so. Sure, people whose main goal is to cut you down should probably not be given much of your attention or energy. But those who give sincere comments on your actions/thoughts, especially if not complimentary, are some of the most treasured people one could ever meet. To my stark surprise at the time, opening up my dark chambers did not lead to much negativity. Indeed the opposite happened, I felt a stronger more sincere love then I had ever felt. These people now knew my aches and the fact that I am an ass at times and they still loved me. I think it has helped me to reconcile with myself while leading to friendships that are strong enough to overcome any physical distance as well as many of the loneliness feelings i might have.
Now this does not mean I don't miss people. I do miss people, however, I am very thankful for the place I find myself right now and very thankful for the people that I have around me here. I am in Metro Manila so I darn better live in Metro Manila and not in Canada, Holland, India, UK, US or any other place. Sure my mind strays back to each one of those places regularly and fond memories come up frequently. But, if I spend all my time thinking, remembering times that were, I believe I am taking very scare opportunity of that which I have been given now. I believe it is possible to miss certain things and at the same time be very thankful for where I am and what I have right now.
Besides the obvious close friends and family, and at this very moment a strong craving for my mum's home-baked pizza, there are two other things i miss that come to my mind.
One thing that I miss and one of the reasons why I am thankful that I am here longer then a few months is that I miss the ability to have conversations with close friends and family that I know for longer than 4 months. As someone who has moved around a lot off late this is one of the hardest parts. Not the making of new friends or adjusting to different cultural changes, but the fact that when you have conversations even with people that are close to you, there is very little shared background. There is a need to explain many things. I don't have to tell my brothers how my teenage years were. I don't have to give an explanation to my college roomies when I am grumpy when I am not feeling well. I guess the solution is to work on that shared memory bank right now so that in the future more will be known.
The second thing, and this one only became apparent to me after reading something by the great Henri Nouwen, is the lack of touch. Being here, I know that I have to be pretty careful in who and how I touch other persons. Therefore, in many ways you avoid anyting that might be taken the wrong way. This has made me come to realize that I am a very 'touchy' person. The leaning on guys when we are fooling around, the comforting someone after bad news, the strong hug you give a dear friend. There are studies out there that show that baby's when they are put in a crib automatically role to the side out of need for touch - I would not be surprised if there is some truth to that. Nouwen says that we all long to touch and be touched, but after we move out of childhood we loose the foolishness to admit it.
But, I want to get back and finish with the reason why i wrote this piece. The reason why I think that I to a large extent experience a lot less of loneliness now then I used to. I think the change came not when I decided that I didn't care anymore what others thought of me. But at the moment it became clear to me that living a life of pretension: of being a better, a more perfect person than I am, was too high a price (included in here among many other things is loneliness) to pay for whatever negativity might otherwise come my way.
For I do care what other people think of me and my actions and believe that we should do so. Sure, people whose main goal is to cut you down should probably not be given much of your attention or energy. But those who give sincere comments on your actions/thoughts, especially if not complimentary, are some of the most treasured people one could ever meet. To my stark surprise at the time, opening up my dark chambers did not lead to much negativity. Indeed the opposite happened, I felt a stronger more sincere love then I had ever felt. These people now knew my aches and the fact that I am an ass at times and they still loved me. I think it has helped me to reconcile with myself while leading to friendships that are strong enough to overcome any physical distance as well as many of the loneliness feelings i might have.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
When you need to go real bad...
Since I am aware that my last post was rather heavy and I do not want to alienate my more light-hearted readers...I decided to follow it up with a funny story. I intend to have the blog be good mix of events and work-related stories, deeper reflections and more light-hearted stories.
So...okay here is the situation...from pretty early on in my time here I was fascinated by the amount of urinals all over the city. I know not really the thing most people would get fascinated about, but after having inspected the use over the first 4 months I have concluded that in general they are probably a welcome addition to the urban landscape. Because lets be real what is the alternative, men using the first tree, lamppost or wall in sight? It seems to me that it is better for it to all be collected at one spot, even though they leak and create quite the aroma around them.
My fascination though is not as much with the urinals and their wonderful colour, but more about their location. Now I don’t think I am the most self-conscious person, but I am well aware that the next time I am not being noticed, in some manner, when walking the street will be the first one. So naturally I would have to go... real...and I mean real bad... for me to take a leak in a semi-open urinal in the middle of a metropolitan area of over 15 million people. But, it gets even better...I took this picture from the web and it was the best I could find, but I think you will get the picture. On the right top you see something that resembles a staircase. Well guess what they actually are staircases. This particular one is a footbridge that will take you across EDSA – probably the busiest road in the Metro. I don’t know who came up with the great idea to place a public urinal right next to a footbridge that is used by hundreds of people every hour, but it seems to me there might be better locations. Now, I like I said I do not think I am the most self-conscious person around, but I can assure you that I would not be able to get a single drip to come out.
So...okay here is the situation...from pretty early on in my time here I was fascinated by the amount of urinals all over the city. I know not really the thing most people would get fascinated about, but after having inspected the use over the first 4 months I have concluded that in general they are probably a welcome addition to the urban landscape. Because lets be real what is the alternative, men using the first tree, lamppost or wall in sight? It seems to me that it is better for it to all be collected at one spot, even though they leak and create quite the aroma around them.
My fascination though is not as much with the urinals and their wonderful colour, but more about their location. Now I don’t think I am the most self-conscious person, but I am well aware that the next time I am not being noticed, in some manner, when walking the street will be the first one. So naturally I would have to go... real...and I mean real bad... for me to take a leak in a semi-open urinal in the middle of a metropolitan area of over 15 million people. But, it gets even better...I took this picture from the web and it was the best I could find, but I think you will get the picture. On the right top you see something that resembles a staircase. Well guess what they actually are staircases. This particular one is a footbridge that will take you across EDSA – probably the busiest road in the Metro. I don’t know who came up with the great idea to place a public urinal right next to a footbridge that is used by hundreds of people every hour, but it seems to me there might be better locations. Now, I like I said I do not think I am the most self-conscious person around, but I can assure you that I would not be able to get a single drip to come out.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Ache of loneliness
For I know that the logic of some will say ‘oh since he is writing about loneliness, he must be lonely’ – let me start of by saying I am not lonely or at least I am currently not lonely. However, over the years I have experienced various periods at which loneliness ate away at the very core of my being. In addition, when I take a peek into the world around me I see that I am not alone in my loneliness. With time I have become more and more convinced that loneliness is the Great Silent Killer. That it is one of the greatest enemies of the soul.
During my teenage years a deep desire for belonging was the main reason behind my obsessive depressive behaviour, my body image issues and my bouts of depression. I also remember elongating a relationship, even though my heart and mind knew that it was the right thing to end it, merely because I knew that she cared for me. One of the current struggles of my loneliness is put into words very well by Flannery O’Connor, “I have never been anywhere but sick. In a sense sickness is a place, more instructive than a long trip to Europe, and it is always a place where there is no company, where NOBODY can follow.”
But I have become aware that loneliness like love is very much a universal phenomenon. Indeed it often rears its head in the place we least expect it. It might affect people in different ways, but it seems not to discriminate with regards to age, wealth or status.
One thing about my childhood that I take some pride in is that I never really actively took part in the bullying of others (admittedly I often didn’t do much to stop it either). For there are so many children who fear going to school because of what awaits them there. At the other end of the spectrum, and especially in the West, there are so many elderly in old people’s homes who sit in chairs staring at the window in the hope that today might be the day that someone will come and visit them.
But it is not merely those at the ends of the lifecycle who cry for love and care. Indeed it seems to me that a large part of society is desperately crying for someone to love them. Loneliness is one of the major causes of suicide, and here again it does not seem to differentiate between one’s social stature. You hear of people who have dogs as their best, and sometimes only, friend. You see people rushing into marriage out of a desperate desire for a life partner.
Modern times seem to even aggravate the problem. The break-up of the family has led many to become like orphans. Chat rooms on the internet are full with many looking for some kind of companionship. And what of the social network sites, I see people claiming hundreds of friends, but not a single one of them knows them knows the corners of their heart.
What of the Christian community – they who call every second person they meet brother/sister. But how can this be, does my brother not know my aches and secrets? Listen to the words that a Wheaton (well respected Christian college)student left on a piece of paper after his class had ended,
Out in the cold I stand,
Looking on at the world sitting tight,
With its people in their nice little worlds,
And the friends who don’t even know me.
It really makes no difference to their world where I am.
If I'm there, it keeps going.
If I’m not, it goes on.
While I walk around, wandering, wondering,
My mind a mass of mixed-up machinery,
Clashing with conflicts and unanswered questions.
I don’t ask the world if it is real-
It sits up there on its foundations,
Secure, concrete, hard, stone and real.
But maybe I’m not real
Or if I am, maybe I shouldn’t be.
They answer, ‘Smile, God loves you’,
But I can’t smile.
I’m numbed by cold inside and out.
Even the heat in the square brick buildings
Would only warm my body, nothing else.
I’m alone in a world full of people,
Apart, shut up inside myself,
Cold, unfeeling, in a cold unfeeling world.
Even knowing our Saviour to be with us at all times does not seem to shelter us from loneliness.
I have no answers of how one should deal with loneliness. Many answers even if they sound good in theory – they often fail miserably when one’s loneliness is faced head on. All I know is that building walls, trying to protect ourselves from further hurt is not the solution. As for me I try to be a listening ear, a watching eye and a caring heart to anyone who needs friend to stand with them.
During my teenage years a deep desire for belonging was the main reason behind my obsessive depressive behaviour, my body image issues and my bouts of depression. I also remember elongating a relationship, even though my heart and mind knew that it was the right thing to end it, merely because I knew that she cared for me. One of the current struggles of my loneliness is put into words very well by Flannery O’Connor, “I have never been anywhere but sick. In a sense sickness is a place, more instructive than a long trip to Europe, and it is always a place where there is no company, where NOBODY can follow.”
But I have become aware that loneliness like love is very much a universal phenomenon. Indeed it often rears its head in the place we least expect it. It might affect people in different ways, but it seems not to discriminate with regards to age, wealth or status.
One thing about my childhood that I take some pride in is that I never really actively took part in the bullying of others (admittedly I often didn’t do much to stop it either). For there are so many children who fear going to school because of what awaits them there. At the other end of the spectrum, and especially in the West, there are so many elderly in old people’s homes who sit in chairs staring at the window in the hope that today might be the day that someone will come and visit them.
But it is not merely those at the ends of the lifecycle who cry for love and care. Indeed it seems to me that a large part of society is desperately crying for someone to love them. Loneliness is one of the major causes of suicide, and here again it does not seem to differentiate between one’s social stature. You hear of people who have dogs as their best, and sometimes only, friend. You see people rushing into marriage out of a desperate desire for a life partner.
Modern times seem to even aggravate the problem. The break-up of the family has led many to become like orphans. Chat rooms on the internet are full with many looking for some kind of companionship. And what of the social network sites, I see people claiming hundreds of friends, but not a single one of them knows them knows the corners of their heart.
What of the Christian community – they who call every second person they meet brother/sister. But how can this be, does my brother not know my aches and secrets? Listen to the words that a Wheaton (well respected Christian college)student left on a piece of paper after his class had ended,
Out in the cold I stand,
Looking on at the world sitting tight,
With its people in their nice little worlds,
And the friends who don’t even know me.
It really makes no difference to their world where I am.
If I'm there, it keeps going.
If I’m not, it goes on.
While I walk around, wandering, wondering,
My mind a mass of mixed-up machinery,
Clashing with conflicts and unanswered questions.
I don’t ask the world if it is real-
It sits up there on its foundations,
Secure, concrete, hard, stone and real.
But maybe I’m not real
Or if I am, maybe I shouldn’t be.
They answer, ‘Smile, God loves you’,
But I can’t smile.
I’m numbed by cold inside and out.
Even the heat in the square brick buildings
Would only warm my body, nothing else.
I’m alone in a world full of people,
Apart, shut up inside myself,
Cold, unfeeling, in a cold unfeeling world.
Even knowing our Saviour to be with us at all times does not seem to shelter us from loneliness.
I have no answers of how one should deal with loneliness. Many answers even if they sound good in theory – they often fail miserably when one’s loneliness is faced head on. All I know is that building walls, trying to protect ourselves from further hurt is not the solution. As for me I try to be a listening ear, a watching eye and a caring heart to anyone who needs friend to stand with them.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Some Visuals
The Batad Rice Terraces
See some parts in the hills look much like parts of North America
Rice Terraces a little closer to Banue
Ed Still looking for some real-estate?
See some parts in the hills look much like parts of North America
Rice Terraces a little closer to Banue
Ed Still looking for some real-estate?
Friday, January 2, 2009
December Part 2
We will start part 2 of with a picture that should have been added to a previous post, but somehow didn't attach. It is me in the chair Marcos declared martial law from.
5) CHRISTmas eve was spend in midnight mass - which I have to say is something I can see myself doing more frequently as I think it is a good way to start the day we remember our Lord’s birth. Sometimes when I wake up on CHRISTmas morning it seems like just any other morning. Aka messed up hair, plugged up sinuses, in dire need of a toothbrush and not really realizing what is going on for the first little while therefore starting it intentionally even the night before is something I can see great value in.
4)Had a new year’s lunch at the Lamigos as part of my personal retreat to spend some time pondering the ups and downs of the past year and to look ahead to the upcoming year. So often, and especially the past year, one thing just happens after the other and I spend very little time processing it. The past year was a very tough one for me and at the same time there have been some good blessings that have come along the way.
3)Please pray for my health and my spiritual wellbeing. Sometimes amidst the many blessings coming my way I might lose sight of the fact that my body does not work as well as that of most people, but reality is that I still possess a weak body. It made me miss a two-day training during the holidays which I would have loved to attend since it was with youth leaders. Sometimes it still gets me down and I think a good Spiritual basis will continue to help me through the rougher patches. So prayers will continue to be acceptedJ
2)In some very unexpected news, my mum got a letter in the mail from SOAS which stated that I had graduated for my Masters in Human Rights Law with merit. Anyone that knows a little of my struggles over the last year and the lack of time with which I was faced for the writing of my thesis during the summer will be able to understand both my surprise and my thankfulness.
1)There is an official date for Ed’s and Mum’s wedding: July 4th-2009. Needless to say, I am very very thankful and joyful for both of them and for all of us children, family and friends. Please if you are around Ontario during that time and feel moved by the spirit to come and enjoy the gift of marriage with us let me know.
Ps1 For some of you this is not optional. You better be there.
Ps2. I am not too sure how my mum feels about me extending invitations to everyoneJ - but I am sure you are more than welcome
Hope this finds you all having had a joyful and restful holiday season.
Let me start by introducing some people.
The guy on the right would still be me. The man in the middle is my Boss Mr. Lamigo. And for some of you the cool thing to know would be that the lady in between us is actually Huoy's mother.
The Lady on the left is Carol and she works with CRWRC. The lady on the right is Vylma and she works with CRWM and helped me with my Visa...so that I am actually legal to stay here.
The picture here is the modern day national hero Manny Pacquiao. I watched him whoop De la Hoya's buttocks together with Pow in one of the cinema's. Every cinema showed the fight it was pretty darn sweet.
One more picture already from the CHRISTmas trip. This is from a wedding that we attended. I loved how the whole community got to share in the wedding-although yeah I would probably file for bankruptcy before my wedding if I had to feed this many people.
December Part 1
Sorry for the long layoff in writing on the blog. As one who has always been opposed for “I was busy” as an excuse for anything longer than a week i’ll just say that I was taking in life and forgot. December came and went and although I am still quite tired at what is almost the end of my break, there have also been plenty reasons to be thankful.
Therefore here are December’s 10:
10)Happy new year to all of you...As I wrote to many already- I wish you all God’s blessings, strength, but above all his nearness in the upcoming years. For it is his nearness that gets us through harder times. It is his nearness that keeps us hopeful when we have a lack of answers to the pains and questions that trouble our hearts and minds. I hope that for all of you it may also be a year filled with unexpected turns and a return to childlike wonder at this amazing world. A return to the enjoyment of our babies we hold in our arms, the beauty of the nature around us and the magnificence of our bodies. And may 2009 be a year in which we once again see our Lord and saviour in the face of every person we meet, especially the ones that we are most likely to hate/dislike.
9) Before moving on to my personal experiences over the past month I want to ask for your prayers for the Middle East. I know it is not the region I am in right now and many of you might not here much about it besides all that is “wrong” with it. Having always been intrigued by the larger region and having studied specifically the Israel-Palestine situation the news of the past few days hurts me deeply.
Please pray for the Palestinian people in specifically. Because yes, Hamas is an active terrorist organization that few of us would feel at home with and sure I understand Israel’s response in wanting to protect its citizens. But my questions are these. Why is it only about Israel’s security? How many Palestinian citizens equal one Israeli? Do we even try to understand some of the anger that many Palestinians feel? Do we really think it came out of nowhere?
In the West bank, security controls, a wall, settlements, scarce access to water, destruction of their olive trees and other agricultural resources has left many Palestinians with very little hope on their side. Gaza, well one could argue it is even worse. Although, the settlements are now gone and there is no actual military presence there right now. Israel controls everything from who gets to enter the territory, to who gets to leave. To what gets to enter (food, medicine etc) to the electricity and energy supplies. Unemployment rates are sky high. Water is even scarcer. 1.5 million people on a small plot of land that in fact is as much occupied as it has ever been. I know Christians in the west historically support Israel blindly, but do some study on the history of the place. Try to see Palestinians as fellow children of our Lord. Try to look beyond your ideological presuppositions. And maybe just maybe you’ll be able to see a people who are suffering from injustice since the day they came out of the womb.
8)Work has been pretty good as we are planning ahead for the 2010 election there are many opportunities that come up regarding voter education and anti-corruption opportunities. I am enjoying the opportunity to learn more and more as time goes on. For January I am hoping to write some stories on Christians and churches that have come together and made a strong impact in the community. Also, on the schedule might be a follow-up trip to Bikol for the anti-corruption training.
7)For anyone who has been to the Philippines, they will know that anyone white is called Joe (thanks to Americans). Well I am fine with it for the most part as so much of it is in good spirit. However, lately for some odd reason I have been thinking about names I would give my children. I know for someone that is not married, doesn’t even have a girlfriend, who in any case would still need to discuss it and agree with an eventual life-partner, it seems like a rather uncommon practice. Either way I have already three girl names and one boy name, but also one boy’s name I really won’t choose...aka Joe.
6) For a week during the CHRISTmas holiday we went up North to the rice terraces which were absolutely gorgeous. For me it was a reminder that humanity can do good things with nature and that it does not always have to lead its abuse. Although the current tourist industry and construction in the area put that hopeful notion right back under scrutiny.
I hadnt downloaded my rice terraces pics yet so you all will have to do it with this for now:). Ps. More pics will be in part 2
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